Thursday, December 23, 2010

Dr P and the plan so far...

I rang Dr P and he reassured me that it was not worth the agony of 'down regulation' and so we will let my ovaries be this month and wait for my next period to start. Due on Sunday the 2nd of January. The fact that this still may not go ahead, no matter how small the chance, bothers me greatly.

We have also been invited away for new year to a popular beach resort, as guests of friends who have a house in a nearby country but it's just too risky to leave the country so close to the 2nd. So we said 'No'. I've been thinking about a beach holiday since 2009 when we were struggling to afford a holiday together and then we moved here. The first week here felt like a city break but after that it was a struggle, with me not working and everything here is slow and difficult. I've been longing for a beach, it doesn't have to be really hot, I just want to sit and read a book and listen to the waves. Last January we had a holiday in the mountains. This year our holiday is cancelled and we are still sulking a bit but it seems a necessary sacrifice.

The image of other people taking a holiday with their 'free' babies and children flashed through my mind but very quickly I've come round to the reality of this plan and now all I'm hoping for is that New Years Day will bring all those familiar signs of a new menstrual cycle beginning so I can make that call to Dr P and face the next hurdle...stimulation drugs for a lovely collection of eggs.

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