It's gone. That feeling. I've been so bloated since I was pre menstrual at the end of December, it feels very strange indeed. Yesterday I was out and about and met a friend for a good catch up. I almost didn't notice until I got on the bus to return home and felt comfortable for the first time in weeks. Bra looser. No more cramping and twinges when we hit a bump in the road. I tried not to think about it too much in the evening but I slept worryingly well overnight, no trips to the loo to empty my squashed bladder and as my hands fell on my tummy I let them lay there. I haven't been able to touch it for weeks but now my pelvis is easily palpable and the heat I've been carrying around has turned to shivers and goosebumps.
Anyone who has waited anxiously for their next menstrual cycle hoping it won't arrive will know the signs. I could go on BC and find someone I'm sure who had symptoms that match mine and still turned out to be pregnant, there always is and plenty of people to reassure me and tell me not to give up hope which I've never found helpful. Again, if you have done the 2 week wait more than a dozen times you will know that in the last thing you want is to keep hold of hope. It's better to be realistic. So maybe it's good to have a reminder today of the odds, they are not in our favour after all. This treatment can work but for most people it takes several tries and I should keep feeling lucky that we have 2 more chances from this cycle.
Here's the rest of the growth stages because it's quite interesting, shame there isn't one for when it doesn't work.
6dpt.. Implantation process continues and morula buries deeper in the lining
7dpt.. Morula is completely inmplanted in the lining and has placenta cells &
fetal cells
8dpt...Placenta cells begin to secret HCG in the blood
9dpt...More HCG is produced as fetus develops
10dpt...More HCG is produced as fetus develops
11dpt...HCG levels are now high enough to be immediately detected on HPT
But, isn't there some post-trigger shot hormone surge that causes those symptoms? Isn't that why you're supposed to wait to test until much later?
ReplyDeletePregnancy hormones don't kick in for sore, bigger boobs til later. Although my days were f-ed up with my ectopic I didn't have sore boobs until I was at least 1000 whatever of hcg, which you totally wouldn't be 6/7 days post-ET.
Reassurance over, you are right that the odds are against you, against all of us - but as my dh pointed out to me, statistic do work in people's favour as well as against them.
Thanks Kat! There could be another explanation so there's no point getting too down about it, just woke me up from my fantasy that's all, probably for the best, it's good to keep a balance.
ReplyDeleteI just know from everything I've read that all the remaining bloating goes down quite fast with AF at the end of an IVF cycle or it simply stays if BFP. The bloating has been so pronounced I feel like I've gone down 2 dress sizes I just thought it would stay for at least the 2 week wait.
We'll see, thanks you are right to consider the HCG it's so hard to predict these things!
I would have thought that everyone's body is different. And its not a fantasy. If it were a fantasy people wouldn't pay that much for it! Despite my current blog post I do still believe that it's possible.
ReplyDeleteGood point, IVF is not a fantasy, it works for many people otherwise I wouldn't be doing it. Although I think actually meeting a few success stories in the flesh has helped convince me.
ReplyDeleteMy fantasy that I awoke from this morning was that this cycle will not fail which sadly isn't true and seeing that grey blob on the USS had pushed away a lot of doubt.
What ever my change in symptoms means it's helped me get a more realistic perspective on this cycle with my age and previous m/c and it's 29.9% success rate.
So while I have given myself permission to indulge in my fantasy which has a small possibility of coming true, it's kind of reminded me to reinvest in the possibility of it not coming true...part of which includes preparing for a course I am starting on the 31st. After a little more procrastination of course :)
I don't want to be all 'pma' (because I hate that) but 29.9% is not a small possibility. Over three cycles it works out to a 65% chance of working:
ReplyDeleteOf 100 people:
1st cycle: 29.9 people successful
2nd cycle: 20.9 people successful
3rd cycle: 14.2 people successful
Total: 65 (give or take)
I'm not great at maths though so if this is incorrect please feel free to correct me!
I'm probably not making any sense to anyone at the moment, my current feelings about 'my small chance' relate to this cycle not my overall chances. In fact, numbers have lost all meaning to me now. Even if there was just a 1% chance of this cycle failing I would still be feeling the same way because I suppose it is just the way I feel at the moment and there's nothing rational about feelings so I've given up rationalising the situation altogether.
ReplyDeleteThank you for taking the time to do the maths though, there are of course a handful of other people reading and I know I found stats quite useful in the early stages of all this.
You know I'm the worst for symptom-spotting but still... in my rational moments, my motto is 'nothing means anything' because you can find stories online of people with no symptoms AND people with every symptom under the sun who all get that BFP. But I'm not going to say 'don't worry' or 'don't focus on the symptoms' because I know that's something I can't do myself ;) xx
ReplyDeleteSo true, there is always the woman who had 'no symptoms and didn't get a +ive blood/urine test for months OR the woman who spotted all the way through her pregnancy for some weird and wonderful medical reason but both their stories end in a healthy baby.
ReplyDeleteSo how anyone is supposed to know or even accept CD2 AF is beyond me...no wonder we can't let go of the last trace of hope until we're on tampon number 3!