Jargon

I promised myself I wouldn't use acronyms or abbreviations on this blog in my very first post where I get stuck in to fertility websites and the reasons they irritate me. Of course they are creeping in, especially in the comments box and I am to blame.When I began my love/hate relationship with fertility websites, (Baby Centre uk mainly), I just thought what on earth is this? Pure jargon, posts looked something like this;

Hi, POAS with FMU and BFP....OH :) !!!!! Grrr but AF showed, old witch and got BFN later. We BD'd loads this month. 

I've got a pretty good understanding of medical jargon from working in hospitals/clinics for 14 years but I was truly lost and really quite frustrated in my hunt for information in English from a distant Spanish speaking country. I google searched a few of the acronyms which just led me to other websites where people spoke the same strange language. I felt like my 90 year old Grandmother might on seeing a text message saying WTF LOL CU L8R ;), it takes me a while to translate 'text speak'.

So here are a few explained. You will see there is nothing fancy or complicated about them. What bothers me most is that there is nothing logical about them. I would particularly like to meet the meet the person who came up with number 1.

1. AF = Aunt Flo (or Flow?). Any ideas? Yes this is the bleeding at the start of a new monthly cycle, or period, on the blob, got the painters in, old witch. It's bizarrely sharing the same name as a character from Bod. That old catchphrase from the much loved children's TV programme from the 70's takes on a whole new meaning. 'Here comes.......Aunt Flo' and always spells bad news for people TTC.

2. TTC = Trying To Conceive. You can add to this..TTC #1 2yr or something similar.

3. DH/DP/OH = Darling Husband/Darling Partner/Other Half. Again, I use this on the websites but somewhere inside my stomach turns a little.

4. BFP/BFN = this one had me foxed for ages, it is Big Fat Positive/Big Fat Negative...pregnancy tests of course. It is possible to reduce the best news/worst news on a monthly basis to 3 letters BUT not until you have POAS.

5. POAS = peed on a stick

Here are some more acronyms that are not commonly found in the notes of Midwives or Obstetricians

• 2WW - 2 Week Wait before testing
• AKA - Also-known-as
• PMA - Positive Mental Attitude
• BD - Baby dance (sex)
• BF - Boyfriend
• BH - Braxton hicks
• BIL - Brother-in-law
• BTW - By the way
• DD - Dear daughter
• DF - Dear fiance
• DH - Dear husband
• DS - Dear son
• DSD - Dear stepdaughter
• DSS - Dear stepson
• DW - Dear wife
• ETA - Edited to add
• FIL - Father-in-law
• FT - Full-time
• FWIW - For what it's worth
• FYI - For your information
• HTH- Hope this helps
• IMHO - In my honest opinion
• IMO - In my opinion
• IRL - In real life
• IYKWIM - If you know what I mean
• JMHO - Just my honest opinion
• LMAO - Laughing my arse off
• LOL - Laughing out loud
• MIL - Mother-in-law
• MYOB - Mind your own business
• (((Name of person))) - Hugging that person
• OMG - Oh my god/gosh/goodness
• OT - Off topic
• RLT - Raspberry leaf tea
• ROFL - Rolling on the floor laughing
• SAHD - Stay-at-home dad
• SAHM - Stay-at-home mum
• SD - Sperm donor
• SIL - Sister-in-law
• TMI - Too much information
• WAHD - Work-at-home dad
• WAHM - Work-at-home mum

And some useful ones to know, that you might find in medical notes:

PG = pregnant
MC = miscarriage
OPK = ovulation predictor kit
IVF = in vitro fertilization (a 'washed sample' of the best sperm are introduced to a single egg)
ICSI = intracytoplasmic sperm injection (a more specialised form of IVF, a single sperm injected into the egg)
IUI = intrauterine insemination (a washed sample of sperm is passed into the uterus with/without a woman taking drugs to stimulate the ovaries to produce more than the normal 1-2 eggs).
HPT = home pregnancy test
-(i)ve/+(i)ve = negative/positive
DPO = days past ovulation
DPT = days past (embryo) transfer
EC = egg collection
ET = embryo transfer
CD = cycle day (1 being 1st day of light/red flow)
CM = cervical mucous
EWCM = egg white cervical mucous (a good indication of your fertile window)
BBT = basal body temperature (to help predict fertile window and luteal phase)
LP = luteal phase (second half of cycle post ovulation)
S/LLP = short/long luteal phase
LPD = luteal phase defect
HSG = hysterosalpingogram (Xray to examine uterus and patency of fallopian tubes)
HCG = human chorionic gonadotrophin (pregnancy hormone measured on HPT's with urine or in blood, with any value greater than 5 being classed as +ive).
FMU = first morning urine (when HCG levels are at their highest.

There are many more of course (apologies for any spelling errors) that have yet to feature on this blog so I will try to update it as I go. While I understand the need for abbreviations I think RLT (raspberry leaf tea) is taking things a little too far!